A Different Kind of Bank Robbery

When my wife and I were laid off in April, we took many steps to control cost, including requesting a loan modification from our bank. For sake of anonymity, let’s just call them “Big Fucking Bank”, or BFB for short. One of the nation’s primary lenders, they are among the ‘best of the worst’ for processing loan modification requests; in other words, they approve more than the 6% to 8% granted by other large financial institutions.

For those of you fortunate enough to be employed or own your house outright, perhaps I should explain a bit about loan modifications first. When your financial situation undergoes a dramatic change (such as the loss of two incomes), you can request a hardship loan modification with your mortgage lender. Effectively, you’re stating that you WANT to keep paying your mortgage, but need some relief to reduce your monthly expenditure. Banks can agree to lower the interest rate of your loan, or (I believe) extend the terms. Certain criteria must be met (you can’t request a loan modification on a jumbo mortgage, for example) and you must provide a wealth of information including bank records and tax statements for several years.

Mortgage lenders are especially willing to engage in dialogue when you’ve missed or delayed mortgage payments. This, of course, has an immediate impact on your credit rating, which is used to determine everything from loan eligibility to insurance cost to employability. In short, a bad credit rating is to be avoided at all costs.

Fast forward to my situation. Having put as much into savings as possible over the past few years, my wife and I had a buffer to offset our loss of income. In July, we finally completed and submitted the necessary paperwork to request a loan modification from our lender. We were advised that, due to a large volume of requests, processing would take thirty to sixty days. We waited patiently for sixty days, calling only for the occasional update that typically ended with, “Yes, your paperwork is in our system but hasn’t been reviewed yet.”

And now the games have begun. Per our lender, our release of information is out of date, as are our bank statements. It should be an easy matter of pulling a new form down from the website and filling in our information, right? Sorry, wrong answer. BFB no longer hosts the form on their website, but you can request one be mailed to you.

We tried, without success, to fax the revised package to BFB last night. Guess what? You can only do so between the hours of 7 and 7. Presumably, this is done to prevent borrower’s personal information from sitting around on an untended fax machine. The cynic in me thinks it’s just one more obstacle presented by BFB in hopes you’ll give up on your efforts.

We were also advised by an agent of BFB that, “the reviewers typically don’t approve a loan modification if the borrower is eligible for unemployment”. We were told to document our loss of income, comparing our previous salaries to unemployment.

So much for BFB being customer-centric and attentive to our needs. Let’s do some math:

1) We were approved for a mortgage with a combined income of X. Fortunately, we have modest taste in housing and bought much “less” house than we qualified for.

2) On unemployment, our income was below 20% of our former earnings. Even my wife’s new job doesn’t bring us to 30% of our former income, as she took a substantial pay cut to get the position. In this economy, ANY job is better than no job.

While we’re smart enough to avoid credit card debt, we do have a car loan, and the lights need to stay on, and high-speed internet is more of a requirement than a luxury these days. Even cutting back on gas and groceries, there is a limit to how much you can economize.

So, if we’re currently making less than 30% of what we used to, is it reasonable to assume that we can continue paying the mortgage as if nothing has changed? Sure, it’s likely that I’ll eventually get a job, but who can predict when and at what dollar amount? It’s not likely that I’ll land a white-collar management salary in a market used to blue collar (or illegal alien) wages.

Here’s what I don’t understand: given the huge (and growing) number of mortgage defaults, does any bank REALLY want to take back another property? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep homeowners with a spotless credit history in the property as long as possible, even if this means you make a little less on the loan each month?

Unfortunately, the days of banks having a personal relationship with their customers are long gone. I’m simply a number on a spreadsheet, and the bank has actuarial tables to indicate what risk I REALLY pose. Hell, they can probably tell me the exact hour I’ll finally decide to put the house on the market. I’m sure they know when I’ll start holding garage sales and selling everything I can just to keep food on the table.

It’s really no wonder why so many people have just mailed their keys back to their respective mortgage companies. In a lot of ways it makes more sense that playing Sisyphus in dealing with the bank’s indifferent customer service.

Their Best Isn't Good Enough

A few years back I had the opportunity to work with a couple of mechanical engineers who’d spent the bulk of their careers with a Fortune 500 company. We were tasked with reviewing a high tech product from a start-up company, to determine if acquisition of the business was in our best financial interests. I’m not an engineer (nor do I play one on TV), but a visit to the company provided us with the following information:

- The product was built in-house, in a very crude manufacturing facility

- All electronic components were off-the-shelf, and we were unable to identify anything proprietary

- Software was written in house or based on off-the-shelf products

Our company was far larger, with a vast product development budget. From a business perspective, I could see no reason not to pursue the purchase. The question fell to the engineers: could they reverse-engineer the product and put it into production in a reasonable timeframe?

After some careful deliberation, the engineers replied with, “No, we can’t”, without providing any additional information or explanation.

I was stunned, as we clearly had more resources than the company that was manufacturing the product already. There was no doubt in my mind, none at all, that we could have pulled it off within the stated time frame.

It was only later that someone explained the logic of these engineers to me. In their former corporate environment, saying no was not only accepted, but encouraged. It limited the amount of exposure for your department, who were not rewarded for pushing the envelope (but were certainly penalized for missing milestones). The biggest development sin for this company was saying yes, unless you were absolutely certain that you could deliver on time and at budget.

I was educated in a different manner. When senior management came to me with a project or a problem, “No I cannot accomplish this” was never an acceptable answer. Step one was always to figure out how to meet their request in a reasonable timeframe at or near budget. Sometimes I delivered on time, sometimes I delivered at budget and sometimes I delivered both; in any event, I always delivered something.

Larry Summers, the president’s Chief Economic Advisor, appears to be another student of the School of Mediocrity. In an interview last Friday, Summers was quoted as saying, “The level of unemployment is unacceptably high and will, by all forecasts, remain unacceptably high for a number of years.”

Thank you, Captain Obvious, but I don’t need you to tell me how things will be without change. As an economic advisor, I want you to tell me how to fix the problem, and not just report on it. Something is broken; if you can’t fix it, it’s time we found someone who can.

Even the president, the very man who should be setting the benchmarks, has stated a goal of creating or saving 3.5 million jobs by the end of the economic stimulus plan in 2010. This sounds like a good thing, until you realize that 6.9 million jobs have been lost in the past 12 months. And this number isn’t going down month on month; today, creation of 3.5 million jobs would drop the unemployment rate by 50% (not actual numbers, of course, but used for the sake of argument). If we continue to shed 200k jobs per month over the next year, then the 3.5 million jobs created will be offset by 8.1 million jobs lost.

And how about those whose jobs weren’t cut, but whose salaries were? Those numbers aren’t reflected in the 6.9 million above, even though these employees could be in the same dire financial straits as someone who is unemployed.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: unemployment is the single biggest problem facing the country today. Why?

- Unemployment drives crime

- Unemployed people don’t spend money, perpetuating the cycle of business failure and economic collapse

- Unemployed people don’t buy houses, pay mortgages, take loans, etc.

We are faced with a crisis the likes of which we haven’t seen since the Great Depression. Desperate times call for strong leadership, yet I’m seeing none of this from Washington. We cannot continue to accept or embrace mediocrity, since (quite frankly) we don’t have all that much time left.

September 11

“Are you watching TV right now?” It was my wife on the phone, just before 9:00 on the morning of September 11, 2001.

“No, I’m working on some paperwork for the Census Bureau, then I’m off to the city.” In fact, I should have been on a ferry into NYC by this time, but I’d procrastinated completing a Census Bureau survey on small business until the last possible moment.

“Turn on the news. A plane just hit the World Trade Center.”

I grabbed the remote and asked my wife “What kind of plane?” At this point, I assumed it was a private plane, and that the pilot experienced a medical emergency in flight.

“I don’t know. They’re speculating that it was an airliner.”

I turned on the news just in time to see the second plane hit the south tower. A chill went up my spine, and it was immediately clear that the events were no accident. If we weren’t prepared for what had already happened, was the worst yet to come? I remember asking my wife to get out of work as soon as she could, and even offered to drive down and get her.

“The company wants us to stay put until we know more of what’s going on. I’ll be home when I can.” Lincoln Park, NJ, wasn’t exactly a high profile target for terrorists, but I still wanted her home.

The rest of that day is a blur of memories. Phone calls from loved ones, who were lucky enough to get a connection instead of a busy signal. News reports from Washington and from Shanksville, PA. Endless looped video of the towers falling.

By nightfall, the damage was done. In one twelve hour period, we had gone from a nation of proud, confident citizens to a nation of terrified victims. What was next, we wondered. Who were the bad guys, how many of them were there and what other targets would be hit? No one knew, and we all held our breath.

The remains of the World Trade Center smoldered for two weeks, and I remember seeing the plumes of gray smoke on the horizon as I drove to the ferry. The sound of fighter jets circling overhead became routine, even reassuring. Navy and Coast Guard patrols ran up and down the Hudson and East rivers, and you could feel the increased police presence. New York was a city on edge.

I remember high-fiving a friend when we went into Afghanistan on October 7, 2001 in Operation Enduring Freedom. Surely, I thought, we’d soon have Bin Laden dead or alive, and life would begin a gradual return to normalcy. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

In the eight years since the attacks of September 11, we’ve given up many things previously taken for granted. Long security screening lines at airports are now just another cost of doing business. Free speech is still possible, but God help you if your idea of free speech doesn’t correspond with the government’s. From an international perspective, America has gone from a nation almost universally respected to one that is reviled, even by former allies. We’ve become the schoolyard bully, and it’s hard to portray us as the cowboy in the white hat anymore.

The invasion of Iraq was totally unnecessary and wholly unrelated to the search for Osama Bin Laden. We continue to pour money we don’t have into the action in Iraq, all to bring democracy to a populace that, for the most part, neither understands nor wants it. What happens when we finally pull out? How long before Iraq erupts in civil war? Weeks? Months? You cannot undo centuries of internal hatred with a hastily elected government, nor can you enforce laws when the loyalty of your military and police is tied to tribal or religious affiliations.

By now, we should have learned that imposing our will and values on other cultures simply does not work. The British have learned this lesson, as have the Russians and the Japanese. Our cost to take and hold Iraq and Afghanistan, both in monetary terms and in the number of ongoing casualties, is simply too high.

The damage done that September morning eight years ago continues to wreak havoc on our country. We’ve become a nation divided among political lines, and the fringe element on both the left and the right continues to grow in size. Our economy is in ruins and the unemployment ranks continue to grow month on month. Families are losing homes at rates never before seen, and our government has done little to stop the bleeding.

I’m no expert, but I believe we can fix what’s gone wrong. Here’s how:

1) Devise a clear, concise plan to pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan within six months. Yes, Iraq will erupt into civil war and will quite possibly be invaded by Iran. Yes, this means we abandon the search for Osama Bin Laden; if we haven’t had any luck in eight years, what’s going to change in the future? Quite frankly, we’ve got bigger concerns on our own soil that need to be addressed.

2) Shelve the healthcare debate for the time being. Yes, it’s a tragedy that 15% of Americans lack healthcare coverage. It’s a bigger tragedy that roughly 20% of Americans are either unemployed or grossly underemployed.

3) Draft a new, comprehensive stimulus plan aimed at small business. The only way to reduce unemployment is to grow small business. How? Tax free government loans, subsidized start up costs and pressure on states and municipalities to provide additional support. Further incentivize small businesses that focus on manufacturing goods.

4) Fund infrastructure renewal projects. Our interstate highways and national parks are crumbling, yet funding seems to decline year on year.

Ultimately, the goal of the Islamic extremists who struck our country on that September morning was to weaken our country and impact our way of life. Eight years later, from where I sit, they’ve done a good job of this. The ball is in our court, so I’ll ask the question: what are we going to do to reverse this?

The Most Important Site on the Internet

Imagine this scenario: you’ve been told to prepare for a natural disaster, so you stock up on canned goods, bottled water, candles and batteries for your weather radio. Maybe you even go so far as to purchase a portable generator, just to run the refrigerator and a few lights. If you’re like me and always prepare for the worst, you buy a few extra boxes of shells for the shotgun, just in case.

Fast forward to the storm hitting. Your power is out, your telephone is dead, water is beginning to pour in your front door and you see smoke coming from a neighbor’s house. You call 911 from your cell phone, and no one answers; for the first time in your life, you are utterly stranded. No one is coming to rescue you, and whether you (and your family) live or die is entirely in your hands.

Hours turn to days and your situation worsens. No one has come to check on your neighborhood, your house is flooded to the second floor and you’ve burned through all of your food. Your last remaining drinking water is carefully hidden, since you watched your neighbor get his water stolen at gunpoint by two men in an inflatable raft. Currency is worthless in this new economy; the only things of value are food, water, and shelter. How long, you wonder, will it be before a passing helicopter notices the NEED HELP! sign on your roof. Are you better off risking the floodwaters, poisonous snakes, downed wires (where there’s still electricity) and armed posses to get help?

If you think this couldn’t happen in America, here’s a reminder that it already has. On August 29, 2005, Hurricane Katrina delivered a direct blow to New Orleans and the surrounding area. For those of us watching from a distance, the initial reports didn’t look too bad; and then the levees that held back Lake Pontchartrain were breached by the storm. The city of New Orleans became a lake, and thousands of people were trapped by the floodwaters. Communication broke down, order broke down and anarchy ensued. Today, four years later, New Orleans is still recovering from this disaster; many residents never returned and entire neighborhoods have been abandoned. We no longer see much coverage on the news, because New Orleans’ fifteen minutes of fame have come and gone. The rebuilding of this great city is not one of America’s finest hours.

A gentleman named Shane was there for Katrina, front row, center seat. He lived through his experience and was kind enough to document it for the rest of us. His website, Listening to Katrina, can be found here:

http://www.theplacewithnoname.com/blogs/klessons/index.html

Shane’s site is free, although donations are welcomed. In my opinion, this is the single most important site on the internet, and here’s why:

1) Shane is one of us, an everyman. He’s not a retired Navy SEAL, he’s not a survival expert and he’s not a professional adventurer. He was just an ordinary guy, caught in extraordinary circumstances, who took the time and effort to document his lessons learned.

2) He doesn’t preach politics or religion; instead, his site is organized in a very readable manner. It tells you what to do in advance and gives you an idea of the mindset you’ll need to get through your own ordeal.

3) The site illustrates that we don’t always live in an organized, protected and safe world. Someone once said that we’re three missed meals away from anarchy, and Shane’s site gives step-by-step documentation on this descent.

Take from the site what you will. For me, this was preparation of a “bug out bag” (BOB), to be grabbed in the event of a forced (and hasty) evacuation. Shane provides a checklist of what should or shouldn’t be in it. My own BOB varies from Shane’s list, so here are my thoughts on the matter.

First, you need to decide on a method of travel. For me, I’ll be heading out before an area floods; my primary method of travel will be a four-wheel-drive truck with plenty of ground clearance. My BOB is designed for travel by vehicle, but is light enough to carry on my back if circumstances require it. The bag itself is a military canvas duffel bag, equipped with shoulder straps and a lockable top. Not what I’d choose to hike the Appalachian Trail, but it’s cheap, sturdy and good enough to get you from Point A to Point B.

The bag holds a sleeping bag (fiberfill, not down, since wet down gives little insulation), an inflatable sleeping pad, six MREs (meals ready to eat, or ‘meals rejected by Ethiopians’ as they’re commonly referred to), six Clif bars, a UV water purifier, iodine water purification tablets, a quart sized water bottle, flint and steel, a Leatherman multi-tool, a Jetboil stove and extra fuel cans, a GPS and compass, spare batteries for the electronics and a two person tent. My single luxury item is a coffee press for the Jetboil; disaster is a poor excuse for missing a properly brewed cup of coffee.

Remember that the human body can go about two weeks without food, but only 48 hours or so without water. In a natural disaster, fresh water will be a rare commodity, and you simply cannot carry enough with you (remember that water weighs 8 pounds per gallon). Having multiple methods to purify water gives you flexibility and gives you a prolonged source of drinkable water.

Is that is? Not exactly. At the last minute, I’d throw in my laptop, a portable hard drive with a system back-up, my passport (and copies) and any other significant document or paperwork I have (Social Security card, will, other IDs, etc.). As for clothes, pack light. You don’t need more than two pairs of pants, a couple of shirts (think layers, especially in cold climates) and a change of underwear, socks and a waterproof shell. Wear comfortable and sturdy shoes – you may be walking in them for quite a while.

If you take meds daily, include them with your clothes and documents. Don’t forget to have “road cash” ready in advance, since you may not be able to get cash from ATMs (or even use credit cards for the foreseeable future).

A simple BOB can be assembled for under $100, and may save your life in the event of a natural disaster. If you can get through Shane’s site and NOT be compelled to construct a BOB at your earliest opportunity, you’re a braver man than I. Or crazier.

The Death of the Middle Class, Part 1

As an unemployed Floridian, I was eager to participate in their “Learn, Return and Earn” program, which was heavily hyped as providing unemployed residents with a chance to get further education and begin a new career.

My wife (also unemployed) and I attended a local session. After gathering in an auditorium for the obligatory introduction speech, we’re turned loose on career counselors like kids at recess. It went something like this:

Me: “As you can see from my resume, I’ve got quite a diverse background. I’d like to find out more about the educational opportunities I’m eligible for under this program.”

Angry, Indifferent Counselor (AIC): “Why is your resume so big?”

Me: “It’s three pages, because I’ve worked for six employers in a variety of roles over the past twenty years. You can’t condense that into a single page.”

AIC: “So what do you want to do?”

Me: “I’m not really sure. I’m here to get information on retraining programs that are available. Once I see a list I’ll be able to tell what opportunities interest me.”

AIC: “So you don’t know what program you want?”, this with a tone of indignation. “You’ll need to talk to a counselor at that table about taking our vocational inventory tests.”

Me: “Can’t you just give me a list of programs offered? A website address?”

AIC: “Not until you know what retraining you want. “

Stupefied, I realized our conversation was over and shuffled off to sign up for vocational inventory testing. Four hours worth of vocational inventory testing.

One week later, I show up for the tests. The first one is designed to highlight my skills and give a general indication of interests. According to this assessment, I have an above average aptitude for:

- General Learning Ability

- Verbal Aptitude

- Numerical Aptitude

- Spatial Aptitude

- Form Perception

- Clerical Perception

Next, the test cross-references with my interest areas. I won’t publish all areas, but my aptitude and interests crossed with business management, contracts and claims, business administration, finance and communications. In short, the test validated that I’ve been doing what I SHOULD be doing for the past twenty years.

Next, it was off to take the three-hour detailed assessment, which is used for two things:

1) Determining eligibility for available educational programs. If you score poorly in mathematics, you won’t get into a CPA course; likewise, if you can’t read well, you won’t get into a nursing program.

2) Providing prospective employers with a rating of your skills, which vary from Bronze to Silver to Gold, depending upon test scores.

Two hours later I had completed the three sessions, with perfect scores in “Reading for Information” and “Applied Mathematics” and a near-perfect score in “Locating Information”. If there was Platinum or Diamond rating above Gold, I’d have hit this level. Eager to discuss retraining options with my counselor, I took a seat in his cube. He looked like a deer in the headlights.

Deer In Headlights Counselor (DIHC): “Wow, we don’t see too many scores like this.”

Me: “Thanks. I guess that makes me eligible for any of the retraining programs.”

DIHC: “Yes, you certainly qualify for any retraining we offer. Our programs are targeted to put you back into the workforce at a salary ranging from $12.58 per hour to $19.08 per hour, with a median of $15.83 per hour.

Me: Doing some quick math in my head, I go back to the last time I made $19.08 per hour. It was 1990, and I try hard to not shit my pants. Or vomit. I counter with, “That’s quite a bit less than I’ve been making and won’t come close to paying my mortgage or bills. Since I have a B.A. degree and the state will pay for up to two years of retraining, can I pursue an MBA?”

DIHC: “Um, no.”

Me: “How about a PMP certification? I’ve got the experience, I just need to take the review and the test, which would only take one week.”

DIHC: “Um, no.”

Me: Realizing the interview was over, I said: “Well, thank you for your time. I’ll review the list and will be back in touch if I find an appropriate training program.”

DIHC: “One more thing – to qualify for retraining, you’ve got to demonstrate that you can support yourself for the duration of the training program.”

Me: Realizing that I cannot pay the mortgage and bills for two years with unemployment and savings, I shake his hand, say “Thanks” and walk out.

So there it is. Here’s the administration’s great plan to save the economy by pumping money into retraining the workforce. If I’m willing to:

1) Declare bankruptcy or torpedo my credit

2) Revert to a standard of living not seen since my college days

3) Start a new occupation from the ground up

Then the state will help me get a job at roughly 2x minimum wage.

I was fucking gobsmacked. Looking at it from a slightly different perspective, the middle class has been abandoned. These programs may assist those of lower income (and I’m all for this), but they do nothing to assist the middle class in maintaining a household or driving the economy. Why exclude master’s programs from this retraining? I think I’d be able to contribute quite a bit more to society with an MBA than with a CDL and job driving over-the-road trucks.

Historically, it’s the middle class who buys cars on credit, pays mortgages and funds small business. Our social security system is based on a sufficient number of middle-class employees to fund those receiving benefits. What happens when the middle class is eliminated? Who buys the houses and durable goods? Who funds the social programs?

I hope I’m not alone in my anger, because it doesn’t look like we have a whole lot of time left.

What Happened to the Media?

Michael Jackson died on the 25^th of June, and fourteen days later he’s still the lead story on CNN. That's two solid weeks of media coverage for a non-event. Being dead isn’t news; rising from the dead is headline-making stuff. Near as I can tell, that has yet to happen to Michael Jackson.

I was never a big fan, but props to him for breaking the color barrier on MTV. For better or worse, he did pave the way for a lot of artists and did help to create the pop culture music scene we have today. The world will never really know if he was truly a pedophile or simply a naïve man guilty of epically bad judgment. When the bullshit media coverage ends, he’ll be remembered mostly for selling records (or CDs or downloads). To quote Tom Petty, “We could move catalog if he’d only die quicker”.

My rant isn’t really about Michael Jackson; instead, it’s about the “softballing” of news coverage on television, in print and on the radio. Why is it necessary to watch BBC to get halfway decent coverage of events in America? When did the domestic media companies decide that Americans preferred “infotainment” instead of news? Have we become so catatonic that we can no longer distinguish between the two?

The sad truth is that news doesn’t bring in ratings. Soundbites, preferably those that are light, fluffy and easily digestible increase viewership. “Today at six, the epic struggle of a man allergic to cats to keep his family pet store open…”.

On the other extreme, we have the alarmist media. If we were to believe half the shit they report on, we’d all be breathing through respirators, drinking self-purified water in our underground bunkers. “Don’t miss our special expose report on toxic terrors – can fabric softeners cause sudden heart failure?”

There are plenty of things to be paranoid about these days, none of which are being reported on in depth. I’ll skip flogging the dead horse of the economy in this posting, but why isn’t the media focused on the economic crisis at home? Every single month produces higher unemployment and less opportunity for the unemployed. Shouldn’t somebody be providing detailed reporting on this? Shouldn’t someone be demanding answers from the administration (other than accepting the current stimulus bill needs more time to work)? Where is the Woodward and Bernstein for this generation? Hell, where is our Walter Cronkite? Where is our Hunter S. Thompson?

I really don’t care about Michael Jackson, Steve McNair, a town being renamed to Kiaville or the potential of Chrome’s success as an operating system. I care about the American troops who continue to die needlessly in Iraq and Afghanistan. I care about the death of the middle class and the impending implosion of American society. I care about the families left destitute, because our government can’t find a way to stem the tide of job losses and doesn’t know what to do with the growing population of homeless.

I care about finding the truth and reporting on it. Hopefully, I’m not the only one.

Thank You, Captain Obvious

In a conversation with George Stephanopoulos (video here: http://blogs.abcnews.com/george/2009/07/biden-we-misread-the-economy-.html), Joe Biden was quoted as saying, “The truth is, we and everyone else misread the economy. “ Biden goes on to clarify, “The truth is, there was a misreading of just how bad an economy we inherited. It’s now our responsibility. So the second question becomes, did the economic package we put in place, including the Recovery Act, is it the right package given the circumstance we’re in? And we believe it is the right package given the circumstance we’re in.”

Just in case you’ve recently awoken from a twenty-year coma, the above statement is proof positive that politicians neither understand nor represent the interests of middle class America. As one of the 9.5% unemployed, the stimulus package has done precious little for me. It has increased my unemployment payment by $25 per week and has extended the duration of time that I’m eligible for unemployment benefits. Which has absolutely no bearing on my current financial situation.

It’s like this: unemployment does not pay nearly enough to fund my monthly bills. Each month I must tap into savings, of which I have a finite amount. At some point in the very near future comes the decision – do I cash out a 401k and take the penalties or do I put the house on the market (knowing full well that it will appraise at about 75% of our purchase price)? Twenty-five dollars per week, or an extension of unemployment benefits, has no bearing on this situation whatsoever.

Instead of a second pork-laden stimulus bill we can’t afford and don’t need, here’s what I’d like to see:

1) Tax incentives or low cost government loans for start up small businesses (or small business expansion). As workers get re-hired, spending on non-essentials will also increase, further boosting the economic recovery.

2) Tax penalties for companies that downsize while continuing to pay huge executive bonuses. How many jobs could be saved if CEOs were willing to waive bonuses for themselves and senior staff, at least until business improves? And why, exactly, are we paying bonuses to senior management when business is down? It’s like incentivizing surgeons whose patients have a high mortality rate – it just doesn’t make sense.

3) Government “guidance” for financial institutions and mortgage companies. As an unemployed homeowner, your sole option today is to request a loan modification from your lender, which can potentially save you a fraction of your monthly payment. Banks are more willing to discuss options once you miss a few mortgage payments, but who wants to destroy their credit rating to open a dialogue? Instead, mortgages for primary residences, assuming the borrower has good credit, should be reduced to a nominal amount until the borrower is re-employed. Monies not paid would be added to the backside of the loan (which would ultimately net more for the bank once the additional interest is tacked on).

Sorry, Joe, I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid. The current stimulus bill has had no positive impact on our economy, as people won’t spend money when they fear unemployment (or are unemployed themselves). Unless the administration does something to address the growing unemployment numbers, any package will be too little, too late.

Ding Dong, ATF Calling...

So yesterday’s Houston Chronicle ran a story on an ATF action in Houston, targeting “straw purchases” of guns that wind up south of the border. Surely you remember the drama surrounding attorney general Eric Holder’s concern for our neighbors south of the border; based on his comments, you’d have thought that every American living south of the Mason Dixon line was selling weapons to Mexican drug cartels. Anyway, I digress…

First, a “straw purchase” occurs when someone purchases a firearm for another who is ineligible to buy the weapon himself. Convicted felons, for example, are excluded from purchasing weapons, as are residents of a different state or country. Laws and sentencing guidelines for straw purchases are well defined; unfortunately, enforcement requires catching someone in the act of falsifying identity or turning a recently purchased gun over to an ineligible party.

Fast forward to the Houston Chronicle story. One hundred veteran ATF agents are sent to Houston to follow up on the purchase of certain types of weapons, such as “high-end” handguns (their words, not mine) and assault rifles. Since the federal government is precluded from compiling databases on gun owners (which is a good thing), agents were sent to gun shops to review purchase records for red-flag triggers like multiple purchases in a single day, or (presumably) purchases of a certain brand or type of weapon. These agents then went door to door, trying to gather information on transactions in question.

And here’s where my trouble begins. I’m a pretty big proponent of our second amendment and have been a recreational shooter for years. I’m all for enforcing the current laws to prevent straw purchases, but let’s take this a step further: if it starts with ATF agents knocking on doors to investigate suspicious purchases, what comes next? Say, for example, you’ve downloaded a fine selection of midget-scat-tranny-porn, and the government decides that decent citizens can no longer get their freak on in the privacy of their own home. Do you get the knock on the door? What if you’ve recently purchased a large amount of alcohol? Since drinking is bad for you, can you expect a knock on the door to check your liquor cabinet when we’re under socialized medicine?

Are these scenarios far-fetched? Perhaps, but wasn’t the new administration supposed to restore some of the privacy we’ve lost in the war on terror? The Houston action doesn’t seem to be a step in the right direction.

And here’s today’s parting thought, boys and girls: if it’s illegal for the government to compile databases on gun owners, what do you think the ATF did with the lists compiled for Houston? Lists that included plenty of legitimate, legal purchases. Are they shredded and burned at the bottom of a landfill, or are they now part of our permanent citizen records? Sleep tight pondering that one…

So The June Numbers are In

The June numbers for private sector unemployment were released today, and they exceeded the forecast of 400k by nearly 20%. Four hundred seventy three thousand more Americans lost their jobs in June, and this does not include layoffs within the government sector. Unemployment rose from a national average of 9.4% in May to a new high of 9.6%; you would need to go back to 1983 to find unemployment at a comparable level.

Many states, Florida included, have higher unemployment rates. In May, the published unemployment rate for Florida was 10.2%. I’d be very surprised if this number didn’t jump to 10.5% in June.

How accurate is the reported number, anyway? Unemployment only counts those eligible for payment, and excludes workers who don’t qualify. Likewise, when benefits expire, recipients are no longer tracked. Given this, what is the actual unemployment in this country? Is it fifteen percent? Twenty percent? The fact is, no one really knows what that number is.

There is another group of refugees out there as well: the underemployed. How many former middle managers are flipping burgers to put food on their family’s table? Worse yet, how many people can’t even find jobs flipping burgers or pumping gas? Are we witnessing the death of the middle class as we know it? The truth is, no one knows.

No predictions show a turnaround in employment until early 2010 or so. We’re not out of the woods yet, and haven’t seen the impact of bankruptcies at GM and Chrysler. How many local, regional and national businesses will be sacrificed at the altar of their Chapter 11 filings? No one knows.

The moral to this story, boys and girls, is protect whatever job you currently have at all costs. Work overtime. Get your company more business through whatever means possible. Start networking, and make contacts outside your industry. No one is safe in this economy, and no jobs or industries are recession proof.

Welcome

Welcome to Desolation Row, a window seat at world’s end. To maximize your reading experience, there are a few things to know about your humble servant, the author.

First, my name isn’t John Patmos, but you’ve probably already figured that one out. The first reader to recognize the significance of my nom-de-plume could win great prizes. Or at least recognition in an upcoming post.

I’m not really a baby boomer, but not quite a Gen-X’er either. My generation was raised on cynicism and apathy, and I’ve been possessed (for too long, some would say) with healthy doses of both.

I started this blog as a place to report on things that just didn’t seem quite right. Like that hang-up phone call in the middle of the night, with no caller ID. Or that sound on the roof (it’s pine cones falling, really). You want to believe that everything is OK, but deep down inside you know it’s not.

For the first time since 1984, I find myself unemployed in a market that offers virtually no chance of employment. Sooner or later, savings will run out, unemployment will end, the house will get sold or foreclosed upon and I will move on, perhaps kicking and screaming, to the next phase of my life. And so it goes.

I’m in better circumstances that some, as I have family to turn to. Failing that, I have a well-developed network of friends across the country, most of whom would give me a couch to crash upon for a day or a week or a month. Still, I can’t help but think of the poor bastards that lack even a threadbare safety net. The individuals and families that are living in the ever-growing tent cities and homeless shelters that exist in big cities coast to coast. The flotsam and jetsam from the sinking of the SS World Economy.

I’ll try not to dwell on my employment situation, since no one wants to read about someone’s struggle to find work. Chances are if you’ve stumbled on this blog accidentally, you may be in the same condition – too much time on your hands and access to high speed internet.

Desolation Row will be a place to post articles that just don’t seem right. Stories where, if we’re not being lied to, we’re not being told the absolute truth either. I’ll try to add some helpful hints as we continue the journey, because the world isn’t a safe place and it’s my job to make it just a little bit better.

So again, welcome to my corner of the internet. You may want to fasten your seatbelt and keep your hands inside the ride at all times, because there’s no telling when the journey may get a bit rough